Category Archives: Children

Smoking


I am listening to the Radio whilst I work and they are talking about banning smoking in London’s Parks.  They actually just read my email out, I haven’t emailed a radio station before but felt compelled to do so.

I think this sounds like a great idea, I have two children, I stopped smoking on the 18th of May 2007 and haven’t smoked, or even held a cigarette since. I hope that because my children grow up in a smokeless house hold that they will not smoke.

I see so many people smoking, in their cars whilst their children sit next to them, standing by their front doors with a fag in hand, pushing a buggy whilst a cancer stick hangs out their mouths! URGH it makes me feel sick!!!  My sister is one of these smokers. I worry that my niece will follow in her smoking footsteps. That she will have to spend a few days in hospital with my sister when she is in her 20’s or 30’s, whilst my Sister who will, like my Father be in her 60’s dying of COPD or some other hideous smoking related disease, just like we had too in April this year. 

I also have a child who puts everything in his mouth, I would hate him to start eating cigarette butts.  I was recently in hospital with him after he chose to eat wild mushrooms, God that was a nightmare, I was covered in more vomit than I knew was humanly possible. I then had a follow up call from the Health Visitor because I had to go to A&E. I wonder if they stick their noses in so much for the children who live with smoking parents? 

There are so many butts on the pavements wherever you walk, as is the bloody chewing gum! Apparently these types of littering is socially acceptable!?!  Most smokers will toss a butt from their car window, or drop it on the floor,  some will also dispose of the plastic wrapping this way too, I wonder if they are responsible for the chewing gum?  Would they also throw a coke can or crisp packet on the floor?

Would it be so bad if the country took more steps to stop people smoking in parks and other public places? Won’t less people smoke if there are less places to smoke?

In other news : – According to a colleague in the office our HR department have agreed that someone can smoke electronic cigarettes at their desks because it is only vapour? I should point out this is hearsay from a smoker who now smokes the Electronic cigarettes as well as normal ones… What is in the vapour, what are the chemicals that people are inhaling? In twenty years time will these be the subject of a “vaping ban” due to some awful chemically caused mouth, throat or lung cancer?

 

A small rant rather than a blog!


I can’t believe how quickly the last 8 months have gone, my life seems to be going by at a rate of knots!  I have a confession to make.  I previously posted a blog about my choice to have one child. I still stand by this post in the sense that, how many children you have or wish to have is absolutely nobody bloody else’s business and, all those sticky beaked people who commented on my choice to have one child and how unfair that was (don’t get me started on over population, personal choices etc etc again) can still go to hell. However my Husband and I find ourselves in the final two weeks of our second pregnancy. I finished work yesterday, I already don’t know what to do with myself, I go back to work in December – I work three days a week (well five in reality but three I am actually paid for) and this has also met much disgruntled approval from apparent friends. Staring at me with wide eyed “how can you do that” “you’ll miss your baby” “don’t make decisions now, you don’t know how you’ll feel” these are the same people who also seemed rather dismayed when they found out I was pregnant and said “how amazing, you must be so excited, that’s great news!” And I replied, “we are looking forward to it but, it was rather a shock to find out.”

I would here like to point out that I love being Charlie’s Mum, he is the most amazing thing I have ever done and we have great fun as a family. I know that when this baby arrives in 13days I will feel exactly the same as I do about him, however, I cannot help it if I am not all gooey-eyed, cannot talk about anything else, only ever thinking about the impending arrival, as it would appear most people want me to be.

I am looking forward to the next couple of months, then Birthdays, Christmas, New Years and heading back to work. Yes I could take more time off, however my Husband and I have made choices about what we want to achieve, (we were meant to move house two weeks ago but, pulled out when we started to get mucked about) the schools our children go to and when we want to retire. Yes I am 33yrs old and retirement should seem a long way away but, we know what we want from life and that unfortunately means working hard so we can finish earlier and have even more fun than we’re having at the moment and, it is fun, we are fortunate to have lots of time together as a family, see our friends, go on holiday and at this moment in time save some money in the process.

My point of this Rant as opposed to a Blog is to say that, although my choices and way of working may not suit all the people in my life, that doesn’t actually matter and, although I love and respect you all and, listen to your normally concern laced disapproving opinions, we are going to continue on with our plan. If in the end we are wrong, (as I think I may have said before) you can all scream “we told you so” until then though get back in your box please.

Update by numbers


I haven’t blogged now for what seems like forever.

Update on life so far :- December was unbelievably busy, all over the country with work, working for the first time ever on my birthday,  husband’s birthday, my mother’s birthday,  6x Christmas drinks parties (the ones I made!), 3x Kids parties, Xmas eve drinks at our house, followed swiftly by Xmas eve drinks at my friends parents.

One Mother in law and 12 other guests for Xmas day, more toys unwrapped by a 4yr old than I ever thought possible, Father Chtistma got me a stocking and a boat load of stuff too, I knew I was good…. Six of us on Boxing Day, then one very poorly child and husband.

NYE cancelled due to illlness so, bottle of wine and TV bed at 12! Child not back to school till the 9th so additional entertainment, trip on the Thames, south bank, zoo, numerous play dates..

Back to school. Back to work, new starters, new targets, travelling again North and South, 4.5 hours in motorway jam, 3 hours in Snow Jam, 2hrs on delayed train.

One date for Tonsillectamy set, typically now have sore throat.

7x Birthday Parties so far for Jan, 4 of which were last weekend, family staying with us this weekend.

Viewing houses 4 seen so far, 3 tomorrow and 5 next weekend…

more kids parties to come, my Dads 60 (something) Birthday, trip to Brighton next weekend, one baby born this week, first nice or nephew due in approx one week then two more friends babies to follow…..

Planning a 5yr old’s Star Wars Birthday and trying not to scream…… 

I think that’s everything 🙂 have missed you while I have been away.

Answers on a postcard please.


My son starts school a week on Monday. I am missing the gene that means I should cry when I drop him off, I am too excited to be sad. What I am having issues with is whether or not to work full time.

My work is based 86miles from my house, I commute on a Monday and commute back on a Tuesday late night, arriving home at 10:30pm or later each week. I then work from home or London on a Wednesday. Reading between the lines from discussions with my management, I need to work full time to progress or I risk being left behind. How do I do that? Do I put my son to bed on a Sunday night, leave at 6am Monday and return 10:30pm on a Thursday night to then work from home on a Friday? Can mine and my son’s relationship sustain that break 48 weeks of the year? Can you never  pick up your child from school, not attend parent teacher meetings, not attend morning assembly’s, not help with homework?

Could my marriage sustain that break 48 weeks of the year?

For our financial security and financial future, working full time could mean the mortgage is paid off sooner, the pension fund is healthier and we could retire sooner, but is it worth the sacrifice, especially if I don’t have someone to retire with? Or is the key to happy loving relationships quality time not quantity time?

How do I fit in the OU study I have been thinking I will have the time  to do since January? Who will do the food shopping, the cleaning, the washing, the ironing, the vets visits, Drs or Dentists visits, who will remeber to make the beds, ensure that the tooth fairy visits on time….. Is more money worth that?

Someone said “your son is at school, you have to now think about you” is work though really thinking about “me” or is it me keeping someone else happy?

I don’t know the answer, I have been dancing with myself to this particular tune for a fortnight now, the music stops at the end of the month.

Answers on a postcard please…

The obsession with Number 2


Why is One child not enough? It’s plenty for me. I love our family dynamic of Three but, it would appear, friends, family, neighbours, the local shop keeper, and relative strangers are practically appalled by our decision to only have ONE perfect, loving, smart and beautiful child.

Is there really so little going on in other people’s lives that they feel they have the right to barge in on mine? ?

“It’s not fair that he is on his own, it’s not fair he doesn’t have a sibling, it’s not right that we are not giving him a bigger family, you’ll regret that you won’t have another baby, you need to give your husband a daughter.”

The friend with no relevant qualifications who appointed themselves as my psychoanalyst explained that, because we were trying for another baby and it didn’t happen (2010 – 2011) I have incorrectly convinced myself that I do not want another one, however, if I actually sit back and have a good look into my life I will see that I do so badly want a baby. WTF!!!!!!!!!!

So here goes for all of you that are have embarrassed me, angered me and tried to make me feel bad about my decision in front of others.

It is not fair that I take all my love and time away from my ONE child. (Before you start I have heard the argument about how the new one fits in your heart, my argument is not about space)

It is not fair that I have to re-think my ONE child’s school and whole academic future if I have number TWO, (the beauty of ONE is affordability)

It is not fair that our THREE person close loving family dynamic will change.

It is not fair that I have to give up my career and then have our family worry about money, (yes I know about maternity leave, and you go back to work in the end, however you haven’t done it once within my career already)

It is not fair that you ridicule my choices in front of others. I am not a child; I am capable of making a decision. I do not want or need your pity, your puppy dog eyed looks when you invade my privacy with personal questions and get an answer you weren’t expecting and do not like. My decision does not come from a sad, depressing place. It comes from the fact that I happen to be lucky enough to be wonderfully happy. I have a beautiful son, an amazing (although sometimes rather annoying) husband who loves me more than I could ever imagine and whom I love equally as much. A job that I enjoy and am good at, a close family (there are loads of us) and thankfully no need to scrimp and save, due to the decisions we have made.

Come back to me in 10 years’ time when I am finally in my 40s and, if I have been unlucky enough to think I may have made a mistake, it still will not be too late to have another child, adopt a child, foster a child or turn around to look at you all in the eye and let you scream “WE TOLD YOU SO”

For the time being though if Baby Police could call off the dog’s I would appreciate it…

The Rules of Re-Gifting


We have recently celebrated at 4th birthday in this house. It has been a mix of intense pleasure and absolute chaos. We had a party on Saturday with friends and family, then an after school Pizza party with the School Yummy Mummy set. Who although they are all lovely, always make you feel self-conscious, like the popular girls at school.

We were inundated with gifts from everyone, all of them wonderful and hand on my heart, I can honestly say that this year for the first time, none were a double up or unliked so none will be re-gifted.

We were however the recipients of a re-gift hence the blog. Now I don’t know about any of you but, I am all for re-gifting, when you receive a thoughtful present from someone but, you don’t like it, have one already or it doesn’t fit, you maybe lucky and have a friend or family member who provides a gift receipt with said present, meaning you can without embarrassment change the offending article.  Although more than likely you are unlucky and get no gift receipt so the re-gifting rules apply.

1. Make sure you put a note on the gift saying who you got it from

2. Keep groups of people separate: e.g if Family gave you the gift, mark it to be given to friends. If NCT members gave you the gift, mark it so that you give to other friends who don’t know NCT members or family etc.

3. Make sure that if you are re-gifting there is nothing written in or on the gift. Unless it’s an obvious second-hand item, for example a fist edition novel with a list of owners in, or Authors signature

4. Most important rule of all. If the gift is truly hideous, or has your name in it from the gifter, just give it to a charity shop. You must make sure it’s one that isn’t in the village or in close proximity to the gifter incase they stumble across it.

So there you have it, your re-gifting rules. Now what to do with the Harry and the Dinosaurs United book we received this morning, that in November 2011 was given to George from Natania, do I give it to the Charity shop or keep till November and give it back to George, and what do I write in the Thank you card?!?