Why is One child not enough? It’s plenty for me. I love our family dynamic of Three but, it would appear, friends, family, neighbours, the local shop keeper, and relative strangers are practically appalled by our decision to only have ONE perfect, loving, smart and beautiful child.
Is there really so little going on in other people’s lives that they feel they have the right to barge in on mine? ?
“It’s not fair that he is on his own, it’s not fair he doesn’t have a sibling, it’s not right that we are not giving him a bigger family, you’ll regret that you won’t have another baby, you need to give your husband a daughter.”
The friend with no relevant qualifications who appointed themselves as my psychoanalyst explained that, because we were trying for another baby and it didn’t happen (2010 – 2011) I have incorrectly convinced myself that I do not want another one, however, if I actually sit back and have a good look into my life I will see that I do so badly want a baby. WTF!!!!!!!!!!
So here goes for all of you that are have embarrassed me, angered me and tried to make me feel bad about my decision in front of others.
It is not fair that I take all my love and time away from my ONE child. (Before you start I have heard the argument about how the new one fits in your heart, my argument is not about space)
It is not fair that I have to re-think my ONE child’s school and whole academic future if I have number TWO, (the beauty of ONE is affordability)
It is not fair that our THREE person close loving family dynamic will change.
It is not fair that I have to give up my career and then have our family worry about money, (yes I know about maternity leave, and you go back to work in the end, however you haven’t done it once within my career already)
It is not fair that you ridicule my choices in front of others. I am not a child; I am capable of making a decision. I do not want or need your pity, your puppy dog eyed looks when you invade my privacy with personal questions and get an answer you weren’t expecting and do not like. My decision does not come from a sad, depressing place. It comes from the fact that I happen to be lucky enough to be wonderfully happy. I have a beautiful son, an amazing (although sometimes rather annoying) husband who loves me more than I could ever imagine and whom I love equally as much. A job that I enjoy and am good at, a close family (there are loads of us) and thankfully no need to scrimp and save, due to the decisions we have made.
Come back to me in 10 years’ time when I am finally in my 40s and, if I have been unlucky enough to think I may have made a mistake, it still will not be too late to have another child, adopt a child, foster a child or turn around to look at you all in the eye and let you scream “WE TOLD YOU SO”
For the time being though if Baby Police could call off the dog’s I would appreciate it…
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